Okay, now that you know what I look like. Let's get a little more detailed. Yes, yes, I'm ashamed of it, but yes...most of my life is spent on this mettle like thing - the humans call it a chain, but I prefer calling it my "life purpose"..."chain" sounds too dreadful! There's just something I have never understood about humans, and I'm sure you'd agree with me eventually. Humans don't understand that goats DO like the grass better on the other side of the fence. It's a NO BRAINER! I mean, don't they have eyes? Can't they see that it IS greener than what I'm looking at below my beard...well that's just always puzzled me. The purpose of me bringing up this fact, is that earlier today I decided I wanted to get into the fence area where those clumsy little feathery, yellow and brown - well the humans call them "ducklings", but I would rather call them....what would I call them?.............well, that's beside the point. As I was saying, I wanted to get into the "ducklings" fenced area of grass...oh of course not to hurt them! I wouldn't want to go near those odd itty bitty feather balls....I wanted the grass. Yes, it was greener. PLAIN AS DAY, GREENER. Anyone could see it if they really looked hard enough. But they don't...so why do I even try? I don't know. I just like to talk I suppose.....where was I? Oh yes, so one of my "goat mothers" is standing in there, she opens the gate...and I found my cue! I waltzed right in and started eating that grass. THAT GRASS WAS THE BEST GRASS I HAD EVER TASTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE! (which happens to be 1...2, 3, ...4,5,...oh bummer, I lost count. Well probably 4 or 5 years, or is it 6 or 7, maybe I'm only 1! Oh goodness I don't even know my own age! I guess I'll just have to check the goat book of records, surely it'll be in there...)
Anyhow, I was chewing and savoring and chewing and savoring AND chewing and SAVORING that grass until I felt those dreaded hands on my horns...MY HORNS! Yes, my goat mother was pulling me out of that fenced area...I always hate it when I get caught. It's not like I was hurting those little "ducklings". Although, when I looked up at them, they were all huddled in one big bundle hiding in the corner. I don't know what they were afraid of. It's not like I'm much bigger then them (at least when I measured my self a few years ago I wasn't. Hmmm. Could I have grown that much bigger? NO......well, then again...). Oh I'm getting lost in my train of thought again. Please excuse my long pauses, I like to think about EVERYTHING in great detail. I'm a detailed kind of goat. You know one time.....Oh! There I go again! Okay. Back to my horrid story. I fought those hands like they were a couple of sticks...but she won in the end. I was taken out, never to return again - at least when they're watching! When they are not...THEN I will reunite with that delectable, precious, green grass I ever so loved with all my heart as I ate and ate for those too few seconds! I WILL RETURN MY BELOVED GRASS THAT IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE NO MATTER WHAT THE HUMANS CAN DO TO ME!
...Oh this was beautiful! Excuse me for a moment......I must shed a few tears...
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